This is a hard post for me to write. When I started this process a year ago I thought that when I was at this point I would be ecstatic. Sadly that isn't the case! This is not to say that I am not excited to finally meet Haylie, I am beyond the moon excited to see that precious little face! But instead of feeling total joy, I am here feeling sad. I will miss my boys more than words can express. This will be one of the hardest things that we have done as parents. Leaving my boys for two weeks.... it seems unbearable! The kids are well prepared, we talk about the trip, they are excited to get to cross days off of the calendar. This morning Riley (5) came and woke me up excitedly saying, "you leave for China in ONE day!!!!!!" He is so excited to meet his little sister. I pray that his expectations aren't set too high! I think he is expecting a 3yr old who will be able to play with him, play the xbox, etc... unfortunately kids that are raised in orphanages are delayed. For every two months they are there, they are delayed by a month. Realistically we expect Haylie to be about the same developmentally as Hunter is, 18 mos.
This has been the point where I have really began to think about what this next week will mean to Haylie, and how she will feel. While you and I know that we are giving her the love of a family, she will see this as that we have taken her away from her family. Children in orphanages spend a lot of time in cribs. You may think that would be difficult to keep a toddler in their crib.... some children are tied into their cribs. A child would be lucky to have their own crib, most will share with one or two other kids. On average there are around 100-150 children in each orphanage. The caregivers there are the people that Haylie has known her entire life. On our "gotcha" day, she will be brought to us by one of the orphanage nannies, we will sign some paperwork, the nanny will leave, and Haylie will have officially lost everything that she knows. I can't imagine the heartache that she will experience, the confusion, and possibly anger. She will miss her friends, her caregivers, her bed, the comfort of being in the only home she has ever known. I pray that we will be strong enough to provide her with the support she needs, and that she in turn will allow us to comfort her. We ask for as many prayers over the next two weeks. Prayers to carry us safely to and from China, prayers to give such a tiny little girl the strength to mourn, prayers to give Sage and I the strength to support this beautiful child, and prayers for our boys left behind who will no doubt be missing their parents!
We are so blessed to have my parents live so close. They are moving into our house for the next weeks so that our kids can live life as normal as possible. How amazing are they? We thank our family and friends who are helping get kids to and from their activities, the teachers who are giving even more attention and love to our boys while we are gone, we are truly blessed!
We fly out tomorrow at 1:45pm and head to Chicago. We have a 3hr layover in Chicago and then will head on Beijing. We'll total out to 24hrs of travel time before we land in Beijing. Lord help us get through those hours without losing our sanity!
Thank you in advance for all of your prayers! We will be posting our journey daily, can't wait to have you all follow along!